Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be visiting the retinologist, and hoping for a good report. I can tell that there’s still problems — the vision in my left eye is still distorted — but I’m hoping there will at least me some decrease in the swelling. If not, I’ll be a bit disappointed.
I was also a bit disappointed when I picked up my paintbrush a couple days ago and started working on the basic shapes and colors of the tree overlooking this river. It’s still only in a very “rough draft” stage, but somehow I was hoping it would look better than it does.
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Of course, I’ve told myself that for right now, the end results don’t really matter. The main thing is just getting back here to the studio, just picking up those lovely new paintbrushes, and just playing with my new paints.
I’ve painted in only the “main branches” — trying more or less to establish a basic “framework” for this tree. Using a script brush, later on I’ll be adding lots more “little branches”. At least, that’s what I’ll be trying to do.
There will be lots of leaves, but before I get to that part of the painting I really want to work on redefining the river bank, and maybe working more on the marshy weeds. Only then will I get back to the tree, adding more color to the trunk, playing with lights and shadows, and at some point getting brave enough to put in the tiny branches and leaves.
The previous painting — my first since my real “return” to the studio — was simple enough that it didn’t require a lot of thought, or a lot of skill. For this second painting, I chose a scene that’s a little more challenging.
There’s a lot to be done on it yet. I’m not happy with it — even in its “rough” stage. But I’m just going to keep at it, just keep doing the best I can with what I’ve got, and if it falls short of my expectations, so be it. At least I’m here in the studio painting again, and I am enjoying the process even if I’m a bit disappointed in the results.
We’ll just call it a “re-learning” experience.
Artistcoveries 
Don’t be so hard on yourself, it looks like a Tree! I could tell straight away what it was!.. take time… give your eyes Time.. it’ll come back (the clarity). Hugs
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Thanks. Yes, I’m trying to be patient with myself. There’s always a really “awkward, ugly” stage in oil painting, and sometimes it’s hard to see past it. My plan is to work on the river and bank next. Maybe then it will start looking more like a real scene! And if not, oh, well. I’ll just start over with something new.
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I heard someone say, “beautiful things grow out of fertilizer.” Life is so full of ups and downs. I could get into the process of fertilizer and how it has to break down to be useful because it has been transformed. but I’ll leave it there.I’ve had a few things break down and transform in my life and it definitely took some adjusting to learn to thrive in my new norm.
Judith, Beautiful things will come of this new norm. I came across this article listing the great artists who created great art despite illness and disabilities. So many stories. https://rehs.com/eng/2023/11/how-disabilities-and-illnesses-created-great-art/
Thank you for sharing your journey,
Dawn
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I like that saying! I will remember it. Painting is still relaxing and pleasant, and maybe for now, that’s good enough!
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And great link, BTW. I love reading the life stories of artists, and yes, some have dealt with serious illnesses and trauma. Thanks for sharing!
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The middle stages of any creative project can leave me asking “what was I thinking?” because everything looks awful in the middle. But having health issues as well tends to sour my mood and make everything look bad to me. I hope your eye issues are resolved soon, and that you continue to make art no matter what.
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LOL.. I know the feeling. Many of mine end up the same way! 🙂
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