Not Off to a Very Good Start

Bear with me, please. I’m not having a good time right now, but I’m laughing a bit. Just laugh along with me, and understand that I’m feeling about as miserable and uncomfortable as I’ve ever felt in my life. I hate to keep going on and on about my vision problem, but, doggone it! My eye hurts. I can’t focus. It’s not just drawing that’s difficult; it’s everything.

And yet, here I am, trying to take part in Sketchbook Revival 2025. By the way, I just made a few errors in typing, noticed them, and corrected them. Needless to say I’m making a lot of typing mistakes, although I do go back and correct them when I catch them. I just don’t always catch them before a post publishes (despite proofreading several times). So, again, bear with me, please. And again, just laugh along with me. I know I’m whining. I know I’m being a fussy baby here. Pat me on the head and say “It’s going to be all right.”

Now, back to art, and more specifically back to Sketchbook Revival 2025 – the “Bingefest”. I didn’t like it at the start, I still don’t like it, but maybe I “don’t like” it a little less today than yesterday. Did you follow that?

Karen Abend did one very good thing. I don’t know if she heard from people like me who were feeling overwhelmed and lost by the “free-for-all” buffet menu presentation style, but she is taking that into consideration and sending out a daily e-mail with a suggested theme to follow. For Day 1, the theme was “Fun and Play” — and that’s exactly how I wanted to approach the whole bingefest.

Whenever we participate in a workshop or program such as Sketchbook Revival, it’s important for us to have an objective of sorts, some reason to take part, something we hope to achieve as a result. It’s important, too, that we approach presentations like this from a realistic place, that we’re aware of our current needs regarding the program.

For me, the objective is fairly simple and straightforward. I’m doing Sketchbook Revival because I want to keep in touch with my creative self even while I’m struggling with vision impairment. I want to continue to do what I can with my art, without taking myself too seriously or pushing myself beyond my present capabilities. What I need from this program is a chance to relax and enjoy playful art, a chance to get out my favorite art supplies and just enjoy the process without focusing on the results.

My keywords are: fun, play, simple, easy, relaxed.

So, Karen Abend’s opening e-mail with suggested programs for “Fun and Play” were perfect. But while the email suggested several workshops for the theme, it did not provide links, which meant I had to spend several frustrating minutes trying to figure out where to go to access these various workshops. I know, I’m whining again! Of course, I was able to find what I was looking for, but the point is, I wasn’t in the mood to go searching. For me, that wasn’t simple, and it wasn’t fun.

I arrived at a 2021 presentation by artist and educator Deb Putnoi. It was titled “Fearless Drawing: Make Your Mark and Silence Your Inner Critic.” A great program, indeed. The whole purpose of the presentation was to help us understand that there are no rights and no wrongs about how we approach art. There is no pass or fail. There is simply our art, our unique approach, our way of making marks.

Oh, doesn’t that sound delightful? Doesn’t that sound like a sure way to achieve success? I mean, let’s consider this — if there is no such thing as failure the only possible result is success. Right?

Wrong. I managed to fail, and in my present mental state, it was devastating. It left me laughing and crying, wondering how I can manage to mess up even the simplest things.

Well, here’s how.

We were told to open our sketchbooks — or to grab other paper, if we chose — and to gather whatever mark-making tools we wanted to use. We were then taken through a series of 10 “mark-making” prompts, such as “draw a fast line” or “make dots” or “make marks with your non-dominant hand.”

I did each of these, one by one, following the prompts. I started with a fast line. Below it I drew a broken line. I made a jagged line, and I made feathery lines — and my page was filled up, so I turned the page in my sketchbook and started in with the loopy lines, filling an entire page there, so on to the next page for broad-stroke dashes, and two-handed mark-making. It was fun, yes.

And then came the clincher. Ok, everybody, hold up your PAGE. Deb Putnoi holds up her PAGE. Host Karen Abend holds up her PAGE. Wait! I don’t have a PAGE to hold up. I have 3 pages in a sketchbook. Oh, you mean I did it wrong? Of course I did. I tend to do everything wrong. All the while Deb is talking about how in groups it’s so much fun for everyone to put their PAGE down on the floor so everyone can see how different they are, and I’m sitting here wondering how I can be the only one who didn’t understand what I was supposed to do. That seems to be the story of my life.

But, I did follow the prompts. I did enjoy the mark-making process. The final prompt (the two-handed drawing) was especially fun. It reminded me a bit of neurographic drawing, and it did spark a little creative spirit. You can see I went back and started filling in some spaces, or adding a little embellishment. That’s when I found out that I’d done the whole thing wrong, so I stopped, and I figured maybe it was time to move on to another presentation.

This time, I’ll listen more closely. I’ll do my best to pay attention and follow the instructions. That’s what I thought I was doing the first time. I’m starting to wonder if there’s something actually wrong with my brain!

Now, on to the next presentation. Wish me luck, please. Obviously, I need it!