Some Semblance of Morning Fog

Judith

The last few years have been … well, several words come to mind. Challenging. Difficult. Interesting. Frustrating. All are appropriate, and in a way, all are to be expected. It’s part of a process known as “getting older”. It’s not fun, and all we can do is make the best of it insofar as we can.

I won’t go through a list of all the struggles and challenges my husband and I have faced, are currently facing, and will be facing in upcoming weeks. Who wants to hear all of that! Nobody. Instead, let me get back to art and to “art discoveries”, the theme of this blog.

I have done very little artwork over the last few years, yet in recent weeks I’ve begun feeling that desire to once more play with my paints, my pens, my pencils. Actually I have been doing a lot of brush-lettering practices, and I’ve made a few little sketches here and there. On a few occasions I’ve even dabbled with my watercolors, not actually attempting to paint anything, but just using colors as a sort of emotional release, putting paint on the page and just brushing my thoughts around.

Facebook, however, still sees me as an artist, I guess. I still get advertisements about various courses, and for the most part I’ve just skipped over them. Recently, however, as the urge to create art has come up again, I clicked on one “free watercolor offer”. The paintings were gorgeous — the sort of loose, evocative watercolors I’d love to do. So, why not give it a try?

Well, yes, I tried. The results aren’t pretty. and maybe I did feel a bit discouraged, but I’m not going to let that get me down. At this point I’m practically a “beginner” all over again, so I certainly don’t expect much from the drawings and paintings I do.

The tutorial was about painting “Morning Mist” or “Morning Fog” — about the role light plays in creating mood and atmosphere. I won’t show you the beautiful watercolor I was supposed to create. I’ll only show my result.

Yes, as you can clearly see, I used inexpensive watercolor paper, so there are streaks, and you know what… I don’t care! It was good just to have a brush in my hand again, good to play around with dabbing paint on the paper, good to just go through the process of setting up, doing a little painting, and puttings things all away again.

This was an alla prima painting — all done in one fell swoop, so to speak — and after a few minutes of listening to the instructor talk without really giving any instructions, I just shrugged and did my own thing. I had no real intention behind this painting, no real thought of “creating fog” or “morning mist”. I just needed a chance to sit quietly for a few minutes and immerse myself — however briefly — back into the world of art.

This morning I came into the studio to look at my painting. I wasn’t expecting much, so I won’t say that I’m disappointed in it. I accomplished all I set out to do — spend a little time with my watercolors. If I use a bit of imagination, though, maybe I can actually see a hint of morning mist, or a sense of a little fog.

Or maybe the fog is just in my old brain. Either way, it was… well, again, several words come to mind. It was frustrating and challenging, yes. It was a little discouraging. Yet in its own way it was enjoyable. It was, if nothing else, an invitation from myself to open up my studio and begin creating art — or some semblance thereof — once again.

14 Comments

  1. Welcome back, I’ve missed you! One of the things I struggle with most is understanding that art is a process, not a product. Yes, sometimes we end up with a painting that we may or may not like, but really the joy comes from the experience of doing, not the potential having – in a way it’s more about enjoying the journey, not arriving at the destination. I find I still get too caught up in imposing my intention on the paint rather than letting the paint itself be my inspiration. So I tend to paint with my head and not my heart, then wonder why it never turns out the way I want! 🙂

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    1. I’m trying to re-organize my studio and get myself back into painting again. It’s challenging, though. I’ve been away from “doing art” for so long, but with all the emotional stresses we’re dealing with, I know it would be good for me to have a little quiet time where I can get lost in lines and colors. I’ve got some inspirations for landscape paintings, so I really do want to give it a try again and see what I can do. I was taught over and over that it’s important to have an “intention” for our painting, but I don’t think that’s always true. I think sometimes the best “intention” — as you say — is to simply enjoy the process.

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  3. Getting older always brings problems neither wanted or needed. I feel for you — I have had a rash of bad things in my life as well. And imagine I have more to come. I find art is a welcome distraction from the sadness in the world. My art is not world quality, but it IS me and it IS a release of everything that bottles up inside of me. I enjoy your painting and hope you keep up with it. And if you get bored wandering down one way just cut through the woods and find another path to follow.

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    1. It just seems the problems keep coming… (sigh). My husband recently had one surgery on his left eye, now it’s not healing properly and we’re on standby for a call from a retinologist who’s trying to set up a surgery — both of the usual surgeons are out of town this weekend, so this is being coordinated between New Orleans, somewhere in Colorado, and Kansas City. Never a dull moment when you’re older. At least our weather is a bit better than it has been. I would hate for all this to be happening in the midst of another blizzard!

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    1. I’m glad you found some inspiration! I have a lot of photos that have inspired me… but I haven’t done anything with them, so I know how that goes. I’m playing with watercolors again — just playing, that’s all — and I am having fun just being back in the studio. That’s a start!

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