Life has been challenging over this past week. Sometimes things happen that are difficult, if not impossible, to process. Such has been our experience in recent days.
On Monday evening I received a call from one of my daughters. She was at the University of Kansas Medical Center and had just received the diagnosis no one ever wants to hear. The news is grim. She has ovarian cancer and will be starting chemotherapy very soon, followed most likely by surgery, and more chemotherapy. She has an appointment tomorrow to discuss the treatment plan.
Needless to say, our entire family is devastated. We’ve been through all the familiar feelings of anger, denial, blame, and grief, and we’re moving on day by day as best we can. Through it all, I’ve been turning to a lot of spiritual resources, and over and over the idea of meditation has come up.
Honestly, I’m not good with meditation. I listen to “guided meditations” on-line and either fall asleep or find my mind wandering so far off-track that I don’t even hear a word the speaker is saying. On my own, it’s even worse. My mind goes here and there. I constantly ask “What am I really supposed to be doing?” Am I supposed to hold a single thought in my head? Am I supposed to reflect or ponder on something? Or is some grand epiphany just supposed to come and hit me in the head? I don’t know.
Earlier this morning, I was also doing a little rune study. I’ve never been able to really connect with runes before, but since the first of the year, they’ve been calling me again. So, having given all of my previous sets away, I ordered another set and since they arrived, I’ve been taking one rune at a time to read about and study.
Today’s rune is Eihwaz. The rune is symbolic of the yew tree. It relates to wisdom, strength, and our ability to move through times of transition and transformation.
One suggestion for rune study is to hold the runestone and meditate on its meanings. I couldn’t bring myself to do this. The ideas of transition and transformation are too painful right now, the emotions too raw.
Another suggestion is to journal about the rune and its meaning. Oh, my, no! That would be even more painful, to the point of being unbearable.
Then I thought about art. I remembered the series of ink drawings I did for “Inktober” a few years ago. I don’t remember specifically drawing a yew tree, but I do remember how much I enjoyed the process. I glanced over then at my watercolors and knew what I wanted to do.
I found a simple reference photo — a close-up image of the branches of a yew with a few red berries among them — and I grabbed my sketchbook. I wasn’t going to make any attempt at creating a realistic image of a yew. It was mostly the colors I wanted to play with.
So I picked up my brushes and just began putting colors on the page, all the while thinking about the yew tree and what it represents. I thought of the yews going through the changing of the seasons, of how determinedly they grow. Eventually I came to realize that what I was doing was meditative art, using my brushstrokes and colors as a way of taking what I felt in my heart and putting it into visual form.
This is my “Yew Tree with Berries”, a gift I will give to my daughter to give her strength and comfort in the coming weeks.
I enjoyed doing this simple watercolor because it has special meaning, because it came from my heart, because it is intended to give comfort and strength. The act of using art as a meditative practice was also meaningful to me, and I want to do more of this. It was nice to just paint what I felt, not think about what I was creating, and just feel the art.
If you would like to read more about the symbolism of the yew tree, here is a good link:
Yew Tree Mythology and Folklore
Your good thoughts and prayers for our daughter will be appreciated. Thank you.
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Hey Judith! I just thought of saying hello to you, just thought of dropping by and your post caught me unawares. Meditative art is a big release. In fact, the simple act of colouring in is itself meditative and beautiful.
May it give you and your daughter strength and happy vibes. 💕
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I hope all goes well for your daughter, Judith ❤
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Thanks so much. We’ll know more on Monday when they go through treatment options for her.
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I’m so sorry to hear this. Praying for your daughter and family. 🙏
Your meditative artwork is beautiful.
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Thank you. Earlier today I found a perfect frame. I will be giving it to my daughter later this week.
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Judith, I think you did the right thing to support yourself and your daughter on multiple levels. You followed your instinct about what would not help. You kept going until you found something that would. You created something that was meaningful. And meditative arts are very therapeutic by nature because they engage the physical senses to stay present while giving our emotions a healthy and expressive outlet. Staying with the present reality, however difficult it may feel, is necessary to heal and release any negative thoughts and feelings about it so we can move forward with calm intentions.
May your daughter be strong and brave enough to do what’s necessary for healing. And may you find many meaningful ways to support her every step of the way. ❤
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Thank you. Doing the art really was comforting for me. I’ve found a lovely frame, and I will be giving this to my daughter soon. I want it to be a reminder of love, and an acknowledgment of her own strength. It’s really impossible to put into words all the thoughts and feelings this simple watercolor holds, but it came from the heart, and I know she will feel the powerful messages it holds.
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I’m sorry to hear, sending my prayers to you and your family ♥
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Thank you so much, Tiffany!
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I think this painting of the Yew tree is the most lovely of your work I have seen so far, perfect for your daughter right now. I am wishing her well with her treatment and healing. 🙏❤️
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Thank you very much. She will be starting chemotherapy early next month. All prayers and good thoughts are appreciated.
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Judith I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. Your art piece is absolutely gorgeous and I’m sure your daughter will love it! I have done some meditative art years ago and the pieces still bring out the feelings when I run scripts them in a sketch book. Take care and sending prayers for your daughter.
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Thanks so much! She’s had her first round of chemotherapy and is hanging in there! All prayers and good thoughts are appreciated.
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I get what you say about meditation. To me, it’s not active enough for my restless mind. I hope your artwork idea will continue to be beneficial during your daughter’s treatment.
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Thank you. She loved the watercolor and has it hanging on her wall. She’s scheduled now for surgery on June 6. Prayers and good wishes are appreciated.
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Sending you, your daughter and family love and light. A cancer diagnosis one of the hardest things to hear, especially when it’s you or someone close.
Your post shows how much you love your daughter and I’m sure she knows that. She’ll draw strength from it knowing you’re there to support her through this difficult journey.
Xx❤️💕
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Thank you. It’s been a long road for her with months of treatments, surgery in June, and more chemo. Her last scans were clear, and they now have her on a “chemo pill”. We appreciate all the good thoughts and blessings.
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