This is Why I Stopped Doing Art

Judith, ,

I’m grateful to everyone for the encouraging words and good wishes. Unfortunately getting back to art is proving to be more difficult than I’d expected. Even trying to keep things simple, I’m still facing lots of frustration and artistic angst. I’m back to being a complete beginner again, but feeling — again — that I should be better than I am. I shouldn’t be struggling so much…should I?

Case in point, this sorry-looking watercolor of “Cosmos Flowers”, one of the free video projects from Emily Olson’s “Watercolor Mastery” program.

Oh, I know what you’ll say. It’s not really that awful. (Yes, it is.) Well, it shows your unique watercolor style. (Nice of you to say this, but what it really means is that nobody else could paint anything this bad.)

You’ll point out, too, that I’m just getting back to art, that this is one of the first projects I’ve attempted in months! I shouldn’t expect perfect results. Of course, I never expect perfection from my art, but for goodness sake, I’d like to at least get a little closer to what this is supposed to look like! And while I know we’re never supposed to compare our art with anyone else’s — especially not an instructor’s art — for comparison’s sake, this is what “Cosmos Flowers” was supposed to look like:

The only similarity is that I did manage to paint two flowers, they share somewhat similar colors, and both paintings have green stems — although mine look ridiculous and seem to be coming out of nowhere.

I shouldn’t let this bother me so much! I am just starting all over again. Watercolor has never been my medium. I shouldn’t set such high standards for myself because I’ll only feel discouraged when I fail to meet them.

I should just laugh this one off, right? I should shrug and say “Well, what did I really expect?” Honestly? I didn’t expect a lot, but I did expect something better than what I produced. So, what happened?

I found it difficult to follow the instructions, for one thing. I don’t think I was clearly able to “see” what these flowers were meant to look like during the painting process, despite having a reference photo nearby. I just felt lost. As always with watercolor, I found it impossible to control the amount of water on my brush and on the palette. The instructor’s reminders to “leave white space” did me no good at all.

And, for reference, here is the reference photo included with the lesson.

In looking at these images, it’s not difficult to understand why I stopped doing art and why it’s hard for me to come back to it now. At the same time, part of me is still saying “You can do better. You can do this. You can learn to draw and paint all over again.” 

And so I might give these cosmos flowers another try, maybe taking a slightly different approach. Maybe it would be helpful for me to sketch out the flowers first so that I can actually see what I’m painting.  Or maybe I’ll browse around and find another reference photo and give it a go.

The one thing I won’t do is give up. Instead, I think I will roll my eyes, shake my head, and have a good laugh at my pathetic watercolor. It could be worse, I guess, although I’m not quite sure how! But, yes, I am laughing. For goodness sake! Surely I can do better than this.

 

 

19 Comments

  1. The pleasure of art is being creative. Be the artist you are and just go with the flow. Never never give up. The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off ones soul.(Pablo Picasso) The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.Aristotle. Happy Painting and Discovering New Things Day My Friend.

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    1. Thanks. I was disappointed with the results of my flowers, but, you’re right. It’s not the result that matters but the process. I do want to try painting those flowers again — maybe following my own approach instead of watching a video. 🙂

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  2. I get frustrated with art sometimes too and I think it’s hard not to compare ourselves with others, especially with all of the art available to see online. Watercolor, although convenient, is one of the most unforgiving mediums too. I find that using acrylics on paper gives me a break from the need to always rely on the paper for the white and you can cover up mistakes with more paint too.

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    1. I’m not good at watercolor — obviously — but I seem to enjoy it more than anything else, at least, right now. It’s so convenient, as you’ve said. I have my brushes, my water, my paints, and my watercolor sketchbook all within arm’s reach. I’m going to start doing a little more and having fun with it again.

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  3. I wonder if you’ve thought about not drawing from reference photos anymore–or not following “classes” or “instructions,” but simply playing, exploring, and using what is around you (rather than photos) for places to start?

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    1. Exactly! Trying to follow along with the video just wasn’t working for me. I like reference photos, but for me it’s really helpful to sketch things out a bit and then add watercolor. I’m going to paint more flowers, or maybe I’ll get out my pastels instead. I was having a lot of fun playing with those before I stepped away from the studio.

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      1. I’ve been loving colored pencils lately! I like pastels, too, but I end up feeling annoyed when the sides of my hands get covered with them, and I don’t have a good system for storing the drawings.

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      1. Hi! I am landing here a bit late, but I would like to comment anyway. Below I read one of my favourite idea, the one that highlight the process rather than the result. I do stuff with that mindset, and I enjoy to listen my inner critic as part of that process. What I think that anyone should not do is take things for granted. For instance, I should be able to draw that beacause I did so many drawing of x. Maybe, a better mindset is enjoying having something to learn. Well, I wish you the best!

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      2. Thanks! I’ve been away from art for many months now. The odd thing is that as I’ve been cleaning up and re-organizing my studio, I keep finding paintings and drawings I’ve done, and I’m realizing that I created a lot of good art, a lot of interesting art, a lot of art that I should really take pride in. I’m getting excited again. Now that I’m putting things in order, I’m really thinking about doing some watercolor work, and then maybe even getting out a canvas, my brushes, my oils. I think I want to start doing art again. Just not going to push myself… but I do think it will happen.

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  5. Art should be fun, therapeutic, interpretive and not realistic basically. Pastels are good for playing; watercolor is difficult for textures and perspective, and flowers are very difficult, especially realistic-looking roses, not for me. If cosmos flowers need to look great, try photography! 😃😂

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    1. I need to remind myself that, really, right now I am using art more for “therapy” than for actually creating art. I need to get myself back into the studio, back into the process of creating. It’s the process I need most — not the result. I have to focus on that 🙂

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  6. Welcome back to the struggle! If I leave watercolor alone for too long whatever skill I had seems to slip away. Water control and saturation are the hardest for me. Right now I am only working on my watercolors to try to get some good progress. I expect to struggle when I pull out the gouache or acrylics again.

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    1. I enjoy watercolors simply for the ease and convenience. I always have them close at hand, and I’m trying to get myself back into a more creative mindset by playing in the studio a bit. I don’t get good results with watercolor LOL… but the point for me now is to HAVE FUN!

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